I Cursed the Gloom That Set Upon Us 

Even with real games nearly two months away, I can usually take solace in February because our own amateur league gets back into gear. Nothing like getting out for the first time in months with one's mates to throw the ball on a sun-drenched weekend.

But the rain, welcomed by farmers, ski-lift operators and other Gothic types, only puts baseball that much farther out of reach. Sigh. I need a bit of cheering up. So instead of sober tales of arbitration payments, I reach for the sophomoric contest humor like a sot gropes for his screw-top bottle. Aahh. Much better.

Name the following people. Tiebreakers based on your creative description of which pair is most separated-at-birth.

Pair #1

Pair #2

Pair #3


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