Return of the Follies 

Of Draper, that is. Our favorite MLB.com hack comes up with such ridiculous turns of phrase I cannot help but document them. He's an easy target, sure, but I take perverse pleasure in highlighting the malapropisms, the tortured analogies, the absurdly mixed metaphors.

So without further ado I give you the first entry in the 2007 Draper Follies:

There's a new Giants TV series airing next baseball season: "Two Men and a Kid."

The cast? Shortstop Omar Vizquel, 39, second baseman Ray Durham, 35, and the promising sprite of those middle-aged middle infielders, 22-year-old Kevin Frandsen.

It's not a sitcom, so don't expect a comedy of errors from this acrobatic troupe of sure-handers, starring starters Vizquel and Durham, with Frandsen -- in his second season -- ready to fill in at a variety of cameo positions.

Draper is off to a fine start. Just a week ago, he referred to Rich Aurilia as a "floater," which at best means a drowned corpse that has risen to the surface. There are other definitions, too.



Now listening to The Orchestra Super Mazembe's propulsive East African beat and sweet harmonies. I bought this album on the strength of one song, "Shauri Yako," which I can't stop singing even though I have no idea what they're saying. A few tracks grow irritating because of overly-punctuated nasal vocals, but on the whole it's a gem.

Now reading The Corrections again after a month-long break. I'll finish it someday, I swear. It's not for lack of interest; I didn't want to drag the hardcover around New Zealand, then the holidays came, etc etc. I'm impressed. The only other novelist I've read who can sustain such intense tragicomedy both in a grand arc and in every microscopic detail is Salman Rushdie.


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