The Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Change 

As the free-agent follies parade by his ascetic's lookout, Brian Sabean must feel like a recovering alcoholic who has to dig a septic tank in an industrial park outside Miami while his friends party at South Beach during Super Bowl week.

Brian, loosen up, pal! Just a few extra million and you can have Mark De Rosa. Put down the shovel, take a long hot shower and meet us poolside at the Fountainbleu. No? Maybe? Sorry, you snooze you lose.

The latest temptation to stray from the righteous path, Alfonso Soriano, is reportedly signing with the Cubs for $135 million over eight years. And they don't even know where he's going to play. Carlos Lee, who in three years could easily resemble Jerome Bettis, will likely get $15 million per year.

Don't do it, Brian. We got your back. We'll buy our season tickets and watch a lineup with Todd Linden batting fifth if it means not having to watch Juan Pierre earn $10 million in 2009 for barely clearing a .300 OBP. I'm already preparing myself for next year's marketing slogan: All-Star Game! Hey, Don't Look Over There, Look Over Here: All-Star Game!

It's either that or The Record No One Wants Broken!

Either one is preferable to watching the Giants promote sales of loyal employee Pedro Feliz's memoir, Confessions of a Dirty Slop-Hacker, complete with a forward by Rich Draper.


Monday morning update: The Chronicle is reporting that the Giants made a serious bid for Soriano, but the Cubs' offer was so knockout the Giants and others never had a chance to counter it. Also, here's a sign that Sabean is indeed sticking to principle this winter: "Stanton, reportedly seeking about $2.5 million a year, said he picked the Reds over the Giants because Cincinnati was willing to guarantee the 39-year-old left-hander a second year and San Francisco was not."


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