Two Weeks Left 

Two blowouts and a rainout. It sounds like the punch line to a slightly dirty joke, but it's not quite what I wanted for my wedding present. Note to Peter Magowan: I'll settle for a George Foreman indoor grill -- or as my mom once accidentally called it, a "Mike Tyson grill." Imagine the culinary possibilities.

So here's where things stand, ladies and germs. To overtake both the Padres and Dodgers for the division will be nearly impossible. If the Giants went 11-3 the rest of the way, L.A. would have to go 6-7, the Padres 6-8. And the Giants' 11th win would have to be on the road in St. Louis, the day after the season ends thanks to yesterday's rainout.

A more reasonable route: the Padres hold onto the division and give the Giants a shot at overtaking the Dodgers for the wild card with those three head-to-headers the final weekend of the season.

Problem is, the Giants are also behind the Phillies in the wild card hunt, a considerable 2.5 games back. The Phils probably have the toughest schedule of all the contenders, with six games left against pesky Florida. But to gain 2.5 on one team without any head-to-head games, and 3.5 on another, all in the span of two weeks? Miracles do happen.

Even without a playoff berth, there are several reasons to pay attention:

1) Finish ahead of the Dodgers. If this is not possible...

2) Knock the Dodgers out of the playoffs.

3) More Billy Sadler. Why the hell not?

4) Matt Cain: a September ERA of 0.00, Pitcher of the Month, and a shot at Rookie of the Year.

5) Two more chances to wear my new Giants jersey with "BLEACHERS 138" on the back. I won it in a shameless team marketing raffle last week.

If nothing else, I want the Giants to end on a good note, with Kevin Frandsen slapping a few liners into the gap, Sadler notching a few key strikeouts, and Jonathan Sanchez making me all warm and fuzzy about next year. Also, if you're out at the yard for the final homestand, cheer extra long and loud for the classy vets who may not be here in '07: Ray-Ray, Mo, Finley, Schmitty, and especially Barry Lamar Bonds.

Give us a few more chills, B.


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