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5.08.2006

Man-Crush Alert 

I M like SO in love w/Noah Lowry. Like I hella wuzn't b4 -- yah rite! -- but now he'z evn hotr.

[cue sounds of digital struggle, represented by frenetic beeps and clicks]

Sorry about that. A suburban teenage hack-chick must have inserted a spybot onto my PC and hijacked my keyboard, or whatever it is kids are doing these days when they're not piercing their eyebrows and downloading emo.

But I have to second what she said. Can Noah get any more Malo? ¡Creo que no! Seven innings, two runs, nine baserunners total, just when the Giants needed a big lift.

His performance tonight masked another shaky bullpen job. Jeremy Accardo looked unhittable for five batters, then showed why he may not be ready for high-stress innings: he couldn't get the final out of the game. Enter Tim Worrell, who's played a fine Jekyll and Hyde this year, with three weeks of stellar work as emergency closer followed by three weeks of batting practice. Is he injured? Is he distracted?

My guess is the early workload may have tweaked some body part, and he's fighting through it instead of going on the DL. If Benitez continues to show progress, I wouldn't be surprised if Worrell took a couple weeks off.

Jeff Fassero may take more than a couple weeks off. The Giants let him go before the game to clear a roster spot for Lowry

2 fkn hot!

Hey! Stop that.

My friend Shana sez leftys r btr in bed ;-)

Well, heh, you'll have to ask my...wait a second, how old are you? Do your parents know what you're up to? Shouldn't you be studying?

But not old 1s like Fassero. OR U!!! ICK!!! u guys are so, like, '96. BTW, u'l nvr find that spywrez. & thkz 4 tha credit card info, sucka!!!

Great. Just great. Why all the Fassero hatred, anyway? Sure, he was dreadful this year, though as I've pointed out before, two of his earlier outings -- the 3+ innings to replace an injured Lowry and the spot start in Arizona -- were statistically ugly but extremely helpful.

My complaint is that Fass-haters have amnesia about last year, in which Fassero (4.06 ERA, 91 IP, 60 K, 31 BB) was better than league average, which I think was 4.28 ERA. All for under a million bucks. At that price, why not try to catch lightning in a bottle twice? So I don't fault the Giants for re-signing him, nor do I fault them for letting him go now without too much dithering.

Mark these small print updates:

Fassero gone.
Lowry back.
Ortmeier up from AAA.

Brian Wilson is also due back soon. Even with Wilson, there's still an open spot on the 40-man roster. That gives the Giants room to call up Jonathan Sanchez, a hard-throwing lefty who's shot up the organizational ladder and recently moved to the bullpen in AA Connecticut. Another possibility is a trade that adds another bat to the roster.

Finally for today, a winner in the latest caption contest.

Barry Bonds now suffers from "RSS", or Reverse Steroid Syndrome, where the body is now 100 times larger than the head, instead of the other way around.

Congratulations, Ron. I owe you a beer. Runner-up goes to "L Krueger," who weighed in with "Brain-dead caribbean tortoises wallowing in slop nightly!" which was extremely funny but racist, speciest, and even worse, taxonomically and geographically incorrect. (It's a Hawaiian sea turtle.)

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