Gentlemen, Start Your Ellisons 

Before we get to today's main item, here's something worth about 30 seconds of amusement.

With Bonds slated to DH all three games this weekend, and lefty Brad Halsey pitching Saturday for the A's, could Jason Ellison's first start of the year be upon us?

Ellison has appeared in 34 games with only 15 at-bats, or about two per week. Still, he's managed to look pretty good at the plate the times I've seen him.

Fifth outfielder is the perfect role right now for Ellison, who had a fabulous first month in 2005 but quickly became exposed, especially against right-handed pitching. Better to let him do a few things well, like pinch-run, play a little garbage-time defense, and polish the leather on Barry's recliner.

But two at-bats per week is a little harsh. Even with his post-April nosedive, he managed to hit lefties well (.328/.375/.454). I'd love to see him spot-start every week or two against the Brad Halseys and Shawn Esteses (Estesses? Estessi?) of the league to see what happens.

Other news: famous Little League fraud Danny Almonte, now 19, is getting married to a 30-year-old hair stylist named Rosy Perdomo, who allegedly has known Almonte since he was a "12-year-old" with a moustache and a Pontiac Trans Am.

"He used to always tell me things and I was like, 'You're a minor ... we'd get in trouble,'" Perdomo told the N.Y. Daily News. "I really waited for the right person to come along, so I wasn't going to just fool around, especially not with someone younger than me."

I'm so disappointed. Where were all the hot 23-year-old hair stylists when I was in Little League?


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