Over Easy and Range-Free 

Never a dull moment with That Crazy Barry. Bonds reportedly engaged a couple reporters in an impromptu clubhouse chat yesterday that was just as rambling and wacky as his now-infamous press conference of a week ago. He even talked about his huevos:

"They say [steroids] make your testicles shrink,'' he said. "I can tell you my testicles are the same size. They haven't shrunk. They're the same and work just the same as they always have."

If Bonds isn't the strangest guy in MLB, I don't know who is. He doesn't get enough credit for it, the way Mark Fidrych, Bill Lee and other eccentrics do. The difference is, Fidrych et al were nice eccentrics. Barry is, on the whole, a mean eccentric -- a grumpy old man times ten. OK, maybe he doesn't quite size up to The Spaceman. Check out this recent interview Lee gave to NPR's Fresh Air. Of course, Lee's promoting his book and therefore has a stake in playing up his wackiness.

But as you listen, you realize he and Bonds have a little bit in common -- the tortured syntax, the odd oscillations between wild illogic and piercing insight, the wonderful flights of metaphorical fancy, the fixation on family and tough love.

I highly recommend listening to the Lee interview, by the way, but if you can't, here's a sample: "I would rather watch a bunch of Cubans for 10 centavos down in Havana, smoking a beautiful Cohiba that was hand-rolled by a gentleman right there at the ballpark, drinking a cerveza that costs a nickel, and watching the ball game there for eternity. I'd rather go to Cuba and watch a game than watch a game anywhere else."

Señor Lee, eres para la eternidad El Rey de Los Lefties Malos.


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